Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Clinic planning begins!

I had to go to a lot of doctors' appointments today because I've been having a lot of weird abdominal pain.  It started as just a weird "sensation" under my rib cage (my way of describing it is that it feels like something is trying to crawl out of my abdomen, it's so strange!), which I assumed was a gas bubble (it made sense to me...) and just ignored for a couple days.  Then I started having flank pain and upper abdominal pain along with it, so both my internist and my GI doc had me come in.  First, I went to the GI guy (it was actually his PA).  He thought it was definitely something intestinal, so he gave a prescription for some antispasmodics and is waiting for some test results.  Depending on how the antispasmodics work, he wanted me to consider trying an antbiotic that only effects your intestines and not everything else.  He definitely didn't do anything wrong, but I was so upset after the appointment.  It gets more and more discouraging each time I'm told that they don't know what to do.  I was so afraid that I was doing something wrong or that I was making everything up and should just ignore everything.  

We were soooo close to cancelling my next appointment, but we decided to keep it since I haven't seen my internist in awhile anyways.  I was so afraid to go, so I just prayed like crazy that God would help me to get through the appointment and that he would guide my doctors and work everything out.  I was really feeling like I had screwed things up, so I made sure to give everything to Him because I have NO idea what I'm doing.

And...

well, let's just say that it was the first time in a long time that I left that place feeling somewhat happy!  The nurse seemed much more understanding than normal (she's always very nice, but this time she was commenting on how draining it must be to still be getting fevers) and the time with the doctor was SO much better than my last appointment with him!  Last time, he gave me the "don't have any more tests done, don't keep track of your symptoms" speech.  This time, he had more tests that he wanted me to have done.  He doesn't think my new abdominal pain stuff is intestinal even though some of my other stuff is GI related.  He thinks it's muscular, but he doesn't know why I'm having muscle and nerve issues now.  My urine sample had white blood cells in it though, so he sent that to get cultured to check for kidney/bladder infections.  I was able to catch him up on everything while I was there, so it turned out that it was really good that I went!  He wants me to be tested for heavy metals, because even though he normally doesn't have people tested for them, he's decided that whatever I have is weird enough to require a weird test to diagnose it.  I am definitely his "mystery patient,"  and he usually tells me that I'm weird, a puzzle, or that I don't make sense at least 10 times while I'm there. 

He's very supportive of me going back to school though, and he thinks I need to go to a clinic before I go back (so that I don't have a repeat of last year).  Now that we have his agreement, we're looking into when/where we're going to go.  He wants me to go somewhere that does Functional Medicine, which is basically a type of integrative medicine that looks at a bunch of crazy imbalances in the body that I never knew existed (a whole lot of biochemistry stuff).  Cleveland Clinic mentions functional medicine under their integrative medicine section, but I don't know if it's actually a diagnostic group or if they are just there for people who choose to use integrative medicine for whatever treatment they're going through.  It's so confusing, and if anybody is reading this who has had any experiences with clinics, your advice would be greatly appreciated!

We have family from North Carolina coming up to visit this weekend/next week, so I'm really excited about that!  The next few days are going to be very busy!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Strawberries Pomegranate

You know how I said I was going to go strawberry picking yesterday?  Well, I was too sick to go.

But...

My friend and I decided to try a pomegranate instead, because that takes less energy than picking berries.  It kind of exploded all over me... and my shirt... and the porch... but it was delicious.  The seeds remind me of gushers!  They explode in your mouth!

 It definitely wasn't a terrible day.  I even started feeling better, so we were able to fly my dad's remote control airplane... which is probably meant for 10 year olds, but it's so much fun.  It's just very frustrating to have to cancel plans (especially when they involve picking strawberries).  We don't think waiting until August to see the new doctor is the right thing to do, but there's no way to change that appointment.  We're trying to decide what to do until then.  It's so confusing!  Prayers would be much appreciated =)

"The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."
- 2 Peter 3:9

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Hydro-Running!

4 years ago, I was at a week long running camp and one of our "other than running" sessions was a water workout.  I hated it.  Probably because I failed my swimming test, and despite the fact that I had to wear an extra floaty due to my terrible swimming skills, I still felt like I was fighting for survival the whole time instead of working out.  My lack of swimming skills combined with the seaweed that was stuck between my toes and the girl in front of me that I ran into at least once every minute made me very thankful that cross country was on solid ground (if you don't count the giant mud puddles).

On Monday, I strapped a floaty around my waist (only one this time) for the second time and hopped into the pool at the Y. And this time, I wasn't aqua-jogging... I was "hydro-running." They're actually the same exact thing, but hydro-running sounds so much cooler.  Unlike my last experience, I loved it!  The instructor used to be a professional marathoner (his PR is 2:15!!).  He tied us to the side of the pool so that we didn't have to worry about running off into the water aerobics class.  It was actually really intense, although you can go as slow as you want so it doesn't have to be.  We warmed up for 5-10 mins, did 30 minutes alternating between 1 minute hard and 1 minute easy, then 8 minutes of 15 seconds hard and 45 seconds easy, and a 5 minute cool down.  I was very, very sore after.  I get really frustrated when I start wishing things were how they were before I got sick (with college, friends, running, etc), but random blessings (like hyrdro-running with a 2:15 marathoner) help me realize that I've been able to experience a lot of things that I wouldn't have otherwise and that I need to keep moving forward.  God really does have a plan.  I just don't understand it yet.

Oh, and by the way, I have an appointment with Infectious Diseases!!!! And... it's not until August.  We're trying to decide what we should do in the meantime.  I've been okay (kind of), but... my body's just weird.  I got sick to my stomach a lot yesterday, and then I tried to go for a short run later in the day and couldn't figure out why I felt like I was going to collapse and hadn't eaten in days.  Keeping my food in me would be a step in the right direction.  I'm back on my probiotics now (I stopped taking them because I started getting sick again when I was on them... but then I still got sick off of them anyways), so we'll see if they help this time.  As of yesterday, I've been doing a little better about keeping track of my symptoms again (I took a little break... for my own sanity).  I make a note each day on my phone and add things to it throughout the day and then write everything down at the end of the week.  Otherwise, I draw a blank when I go to the doctors.  It also helps to see if there are any patterns.

I have to get going, because I have a busy day today!  My friend and I are going strawberry picking this afternoon! =)


Wednesday, June 8, 2011

You are making me new.

Last night, a few of my friends came over for Bible study.  One of my friends pulled in the driveway and sat in his car for like 5 minutes while I just awkwardly stared at him from the window wondering why he wasn't getting out.  It turned out that the song "Beautiful Things" by Gungor was on, and he wanted to listen to the entire thing.  It's an awesome song, and I'd probably sit in the car until it was over, too.  It's about how God makes beautiful things out of what can seem really painful, hard and chaotic at first.

Sometimes I have to be reminded that just because things are really hard right now doesn't mean things are hopeless.  It's easy for me to get caught up in the fact that life is different than it usually is, and that there's a good chance that it won't go back to exactly how it was, either.  It's even harder when I start comparing myself to every other college kid, runner, or whatever else I feel like identifying myself as at the moment.   Then, I remember that it'd be silly to go back to how things were.  God is up to something, and His work isn't finished yet.


"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
  Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
  And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."
- 1 Peter 5:7-10 (NIV)


Friday, June 3, 2011

Really quick update

*I've been really achy again the past few days (especially my wrists, fingers and neck).

*It feels like a cell phone keeps buzzing in my ankle/lower leg.

*I swam 1350 meters today!

*My oncologist called and said that Infectious Disease agreed to see me!!!! They should be calling us next week to set up an appointment.

*Today is the first day of "Oz-Stravaganza. "  Chittenango is the place to be for all things "Wizard of Oz."  Too bad that movie terrifies me... especially because I was forced to do art crafts and sing songs about it all through elementary school.

2 months later...

This week is my first week in two months that I'm not riding a bus packed full of sweaty teenagers, trying to bust out some encouraging notes for the girls ten minutes before I leave, or packing a bag full of clothes to keep me warm in wind and sleet and enough gluten/soy/dairy free snacks to resemble something that I can call "dinner."  In other words, the high school track season is over for the high school team.

2 months ago, I went to practice for the first time as a "volunteer assistant coach" for the high school track team.  I was so excited because it was a sweet opportunity smack dab in the middle of what was otherwise a pretty crappy time.  On my first day, my hs coach said the distance runners were doing 6 800s.  He took the guys and said "The girls are all yours, good luck!"  I have to admit, I was a little intimidated at first.  Okay, really intimidated.  High school girls can be scary.  There were only 5 distance runners on the girls team and I just had to tell them what to do, time them, and get them through the workout... but it was still scary.  3 of them were in tears by the end of the first workout that I was there for, and 2 didn't even show up.  I was afraid they were going to hate me forever, even though I wasn't the one who decided what workout they were going to do.  For a while, I was pretty sure they did hate me.  They didn't seem to like running very much, so I really didn't think they'd like the person who told them to run everyday either.

I started doing everything that I could think of to get them more excited about coming to practice.  I looked up all of their old results, bribed them with ice cream (that I still owe them...), taught them form drills, video taped, gave them notes before each race, and made an attempt to run their cool downs with them if they were all alone.  Sometimes, I thought it was going to be a lost cause.  They just didn't seem to want to be there.  Then, a crazy thing started to happen!  First, one girl kept PR-ing her 1500... over... and over... and over.  She wasn't the fastest girl on the team, and she didn't get to go to sectionals, but I was freakin' excited.  Then, a few of them started to get excited about form drills and watching themselves run on my camara.  They were actually getting EXCITED about something!  After a few weeks, I was starting to get to know them really well and I realized that high school girls aren't that scary after all... at least not these girls.

I really wish that I had pictures from the season, but I was too busy yelling things like "I told you to warm up for 16 minutes! You were out for THREE!" and freaking out about things like them showing up at the starting line without their shorts on under their pants.  Just to give you an idea of what they were like: I was working up in the press box for the last two meets and they all came up to talk to me after their 4 x 800 at the League meet.  I was doing awards, so I showed them the ribbons that they were going to get  for coming in 3rd place, but they said that they wished they came in 6th place instead because the ribbons were purple.

No, they weren't the fastest, most committed, or most talented group of girls, but it was a blessing to have the chance to be so excited about them that I'd forget that I was even sick.  God works in crazy ways.

Oh, and by the way, they came in 6th place in the 4 x 800 at Sectionals.  I couldn't help but laugh when I stuffed four purple ribbons into the Chittenango envelope up in the press box...