Worry doesn't add a single day.

This week has been tough.  The doctors called me on Thursday to have me come in for my MRIs.  It was frustrating, because I never knew when they were going to call so I didn't want to make too many plans for the week.  The MRI took about an hour because they did both at the same time.  It was boring.  They said that they'd have the results in an hour, but we never heard anything back on Thursday afternoon so I had to call them on Friday morning.  Then, they said I was supposed to have a follow up appointment, so they were going to call back to schedule that.  They ended up calling later and saying that everything was normal... which is good, but super annoying.  I was a mess last night because this means that the ID people and a trip to Cleveland Clinic are pretty much the only options left.  I've been so bummed out about it that I really just don't want to go to ANY of them... last night I told my parents that I just screwed everything up and I should just suck it up.  That's pretty much how things have been lately.  My dad reminded me that we didn't want anything to be wrong with my brain... I don't want MS, brain tumors, or anything like that.  As silly as it sounds, it's easy to forget that when you're desperately looking for a diagnosis.

I've been down in the dumps lately.  I feel like I can't handle anything else related to medical things.  I miss friends and having fun, and now that we're getting closer to the fall, I'm realizing how much I want to be on the cross country team again and I'm scared that I won't be able to.  I also decided that I wanted to volunteer at the children's hospital for the summer, but then I called and they said all the volunteer spots were taken.  Poop.  

But...  things will get better.  Hopefully very soon!  I'm trying very hard to keep trusting that God will give me the strength that I need each day and that He will make this into something amazing... it's just hard when I think I screwed everything up and that I should have just stayed at school.  But, even if I did screw up big time, he can make all things new... and that is very, very cool.

“But now, Lord, what do I look for? 
   My hope is in you."

-Psalm 39:7