Anxiety, Quilts, and... Jesus.

You know how just last week I said I was really excited about going to Cleveland Clinic?  Well, that excitement has been followed by a whole lot of freaking out.  I've been feeling pretty good this week, which I should be all happy and excited about... but, instead I've been too busy worrying that I'll get healthy, get to Cleveland, and it'll all be a waste.

Then, my parents remind me that my week of "feeling pretty good" has been far from "normal."  My digestive system has forgotten how to do it's job and digest food properly, I still have to take a break to rest every now and then because my temperature will shoot up, random parts of my body hurt/feel numb/have a mind of their own... but, I'm not like I was in the winter.  My parents also remind me (parents are good at this : ) that it's been 3 years of this "mystery illness" and that I've felt great during parts of those 3 years... and then have gotten very sick again.  That might sound really pessimistic and depressing, but it just reassures me that trying to figure this thing out and kick it in the rear is still a good thing for us to be doing.  And, that not having to feel like I'm keeling over and dying in the process is always something to be thankful for.  Most importantly, getting healthy is what I'm trying to do.  If for some reason that did just randomly happen, that wouldn't be something to be sad about!

Having an undiagnosed illness can be so stressful, but... finding peace and joy always comes down to trusting God.  Always.  The God who created everything from my brain to the tiny cells in my body knows exactly what I need, and He will provide... just like He always has.

Just the other day, a relative from Texas gave me a prayer quilt that people from her church made for me!  It even has my name on it and strings for people to tie knots in whenever they say a prayer.  There's already some knots on it from the people at her church!  People in TEXAS that I'll probably never get to meet have been praying for me!  It's impossible not to smile when I think of that.  The quilt is really pretty, too and it's definitely coming to school with me in the fall!

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."
~1 Peter 5:10