This past week was our winter break, so I've been home resting. It's been kind of a rough week though because I was trying to decide what to do this summer, which made me realize what things I can't do, which made me really upset that I was still sick. I started getting all anxious because it made me realize how abnormal a sick person's life can be... and at that moment, I just wanted to be "normal." Except I slowly started realizing that my definition of "normal" was just what I've learned from good 'ol America. Not that I don't like America, but so much of the pressure comes from our culture... our culture of chasing after dreams, successful jobs, and finding that perfect someone... it doesn't really leave room for being sick now, does it?
After a few days of freaking out, God helped me to see why I was suddenly freaking out about life... and why I didn't feel peaceful about anything even though I kept asking Him to bring me peace. I was looking in the wrong places. I was searching for ways that I could "keep up" with the rest of the world... things that would make me feel more secure. In other words, I was trying to fix things.
And then this came to mind...
"...let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." -Hebrews 12:1b-3
And once I finally remembered who I'm living for and what this life is about... along came that peace.
Amen and Amen!
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