Pumpkin Therapy

Today, I woke up after only sleeping for 9.5 or 10 hours instead of my weekly average of like... 12, so I thought "I'M GETTING BETTER!" That put my in a good mood, so I blasted some old school Newsboys and ate a muffin (soy/dairy/gluten free, don't worry.). Then... my energy that I had for a good hour or so disappeared, and I crashed on the couch and continued my new habit of... napping. I hate napping. So much. My temperature has been hanging out at 100, despite the three weeks of antibiotics (that have been increased in strength twice)... so we really have no idea what's going on. It's not like I'm suffering with a 104 fever, but it does mean that something is going on (and it makes me very sleepy). My dad talked to the people at IGeneX today, which is a laboratory place in California that does the Lyme Disease test, which is a million times more accurate than NY's Lyme test (NYS tests for 3 out of 5 strands of some protein or something in order to say you're "positive." California, on the other hand, only needs 2 strands. And, they do three different tests. Yeah. C'mon NY...). I'd rather not have Lyme Disease, but at this point we need to eliminate things until we find what's going on so we can take care of it and get me HEALTHY (I love that word.)

All of this being sick stuff is really depressing (especially for someone who usually has an abnormally high amount of energy and can't go a day without being outside...), but thankfully, my friend Marie happens to be home this semester too. She didn't mean to be, but things didn't work out, and well... now we're together. It's cool how things work out. She's been giving me a lot of encouragement (and taking care of a sick friend gives her something to do =P), and today she brought over pumpkins to decorate! It took my mind off of everything and was WONDERFUL. I wasn't worrying about school or running, and I didn't have the "I'm screwing everything up" thought in my head. It made up for my counseling appointment that I would've gone to today if I was at school. Actually, it worked a lot better than my counseling appointment normally does.

Spiritually, well... let's just say that in order to get through each day I really do need to "put on the whole armor of God." I'm slowly learning that the "I suck at life" thoughts that I keep having are something that I can fight off (with a whole lot of help from God). It's really a matter of learning what I can control and what I can't. I can only control so much of what's happening to my body, and the rest I can't worry about. I haven't gotten to the not worrying part of it yet... but I'm working on it.